When your life is turned upside down, you can make plans for a new life with new growth. This year my life was turned upside down and inside out. The big change began on Christmas eve and culminated on Christmas day. After much questioning, my husband revealed he was moving out that week. Were there clues that there was a problem? Yes. I encouraged him to seek counseling without a clue that he had already rented a house and made plans to move. I was shocked! After shock came anger, sadness, and grief over the loss of a relationship and a lifestyle. Divorce is prevalent, but like many, I never thought it would happen to me at least not at this time in my life.
I had no idea that divorce was so prevalent among people over 50. AARP even has an article on Gray Divorce. At each stage of life, divorce has a different effect and different consequences. When children are involved, divorce is often the most complicated and emotional, but when people are nearing retirement, there are other complications. As people near retirement there are often more concerns for finances, health, and living arrangements. Women are often hit harder than men because of the general disparity in income, but they may also have more support from family and friends. Divorce is traumatic and life changing at any age, but where there is change, even when unexpected, there are opportunities for a new life.
This last Christmas was a day to remember, and not as a celebration, but I have had many celebrations this year. At trip to San Diego with family, a Valentines Day tea with single friends, and more than one birthday celebration this year with friends and family. I am also looking forward to a trip to Europe with my daughters in the fall.
When marriage declines as much as ours did with a spouse who was looking elsewhere, divorce can bring new life and new energy. The last three months have been difficult for me with filing for divorce, clearing out my house and putting it up for sale, but I have had so much support that I drew closer to family and friends. A huge, unexpected change brings an avalanche of emotions, but making plans for a new life brings new energy.
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